….that they may be one.

I was on a women’s conference last week end. It’s called “ The Third Side”, aimed at women married to Jews, Christian Arabs or Armenians, themselves not belonging to either one of these groups. “Musalaha”, which means reconciliation, is the organization behind these conferences.

When I was invited to the first one a few years ago I didn’t really feel like “wasting” a week end away from my family. I was amazed, however, to discover the other women who were to join.
We spent most of the first week end listening to each other’s stories; What brought them to Israel and how they met their husbands. Each one of these women had a story which could have been a “best seller” if told though a book. What was interesting was that each one didn’t see anything extraordinary about their own story while all the others did.

We come from many different backgrounds and from lots of countries. The one thing we have in common is the fact that we have left what we grew up with and have started over again in a place very unlike where we came from. For many it caused a serious problem with language and culture and resulted in some seeing themselves almost as a “displaced” person.
The amazing thing has been that others clearly see the potential in a woman who hardly sees it herself. For some of the ladies this has been a great help and also a push to get out of self pity and confusion and to look up and onwards.
We have a lot to add to the Israeli society. We are more curious about different groups of people and have attitudes less colored by prejudice. We are not as easily seen as a threat as we approach someone “from the other side’. We do not teach our children to be afraid of neither Jews nor Arabs. There is no : “If you do not behave, the Jewish soldiers ( or the Arabs) will come and get you”….. in our way of bringing up our children.

Still we live being part of one or the other side of the conflict. In order to “survive” this it is important to have certain things explained.
This last conference dealt with “Operation Cast Lead”.
People belonging to a Messianic Jewish fellowship are used to be praying for the Israeli Army, asking God’s protection over the soldiers and being proud that some of the soldiers serving in elite units actually are Messianic Jews.
People belonging to an Arab Christian congregation are taught that participating in war is unbiblical. The Christian Arabs have an all pacifistic attitude based on their faith.
For these two “faith communities” to respect one another and to even love one another is nothing less than a miracle. We believe in such miracles and we need them desperately.

The most important thing to learn in life is probably that the base for love is not that we agree, but rather that we respect one another. ---I remember a friend of mine sharing an experience he had in Gaza. This happened before the second Intifada and when the Israeli Army were still in control of the entire Strip. He was on reserve duty for a month and had been sent to serve in Gaza. One day as he was patrolling with his unit he saw an Arab whom he recognized from a believers conference. The two men shouted from joy and gave one another a great hug while his army comrades and the other Arabs surrounding them were left watching with unbelief shining in their eyes.

The difference between the possible and the impossible is that the impossible may take longer.

Elin Elkouby